Conversations

Summer 2001

Evening seems to be a time I have the most interesting conversations with people in the office. Things are a bit more relaxed and people seem less shy to start up a conversation with me. One night Ben and Fred, my two favorite men here, and I started chatting about relationships. I soon noticed a bit of a black cloud seemed to descend over Fred. His girlfriend had come to town to see him was and he was wondering when he was going to be able to go and see her. I responded that he should go right away, to which he grinned but said he was suppose to get a project assignment from Tim. As often happens, Tim had had been called off to work out some emergency somewhere in the factory before he had gotten to talk to Fred.

Ben asked me how long Tim and I had been together. I told them around 13 years. They were impressed and Ben asked me to teach them something about relationships, like I am an expert...So in my effort to avoid the subject I told them I thought Tim could better give them a man's point of view. I said I could only tell them my point of view as an American woman, but that may be quite different than a Chinese woman's point of view and of no use to them. They were still eager, so, I with some hesitation I told them, in my opinion, when you make a date with a woman, you should never keep her waiting. To this statement they both gave a little nervous laugh and Ben followed up with, 'oh yes'. And I began to think maybe Chinese women were not so different than American women. But if you have to be late, I continued, at least call her and let her know what is going on and when she can expect to see you. Don't make the mistake that no news is better than bad news. More nervous little laughs... Fred especially looked worried and Ben said 'oh yes, that is a good idea', or something like that. At that point I told Fred I had an idea, to which he brightened up immediately. I suggested he call his girlfriend, tell her he was on his way, and was looking forward to seeing her, and then leave immediately before Tim got back. I told him I was sure Tim would agree that he should go immediately. I was actually not authorized to do this, but luckily, it worked out to be fine with Tim, the project, Fred, Fred's girlfriend, and me - we got home by 10:00pm for a change!