My Chinese Christmas Present

December 2000

On Christmas eve day we went out to lunch with the financial advisor of the company. I had found Lucy a very interesting woman from the first time I saw her. She is light skinned and has a beautiful round Chinese face. I look at her and can easily imagine her in full traditional Chinese court costume. Tim and I hadn't had time to really talk to her before this time and thoroughly enjoyed hearing about her life and travels. Lucy is an interesting blend of sweetness, refinement, and intelligence. She told Tim and I about different areas in China and what the main attractions were. Quanzhou is a very beautiful town by the sea that has many beautiful historic buildings. And Hainan Island, which we have all heard about, is known as the Hawaii of China. We also invited the driver, Lee, whose English vocabulary rivals my Chinese vocabulary to join us. Unfortunately he was unable to participate in the conversation, but seemed happy to observe. All the drivers are very helpful people, but ever since I started trying out Mandarin, Lee in particular gets a kick out of my attempts. He is very encouraging, but as a native Cantonese speaker giving me corrections on my Mandarin, I can tell that I am quickly developing into a phonetic nightmare. Sometimes after my attempts, he will quietly repeat what I have said to himself with a grin on his face. I figure I am providing these men some unusual entertainment.

We had a pleasant meal and visit with Lucy after which we went to buy a bike which was to be my Christmas present. Lee took us to what he said was the best bike shop and we began the search for the biggest woman's bike we could find. I haven't had a bike for years and don't really enjoy riding a bike, but it is my safest option for a bit more freedom while I am here. The owners of the shop, a cute young couple along with Lee worked hard at finding the perfect model for me. Still, the three of them would pull out a bike to show me, hold it next to me, look from my head down to my feet in amazement and utter a soft 'whaaah' under their breath. They just couldn't believe I was so tall. They would talk and talk and then find another bike to have me stand next to. A couple times I bent my knees a bit so it was the right size and they would all laugh and return to their search. I am getting used to being different, still working on the amazing amount of time it takes to do anything here.

People here have commented in amazement at my height which is only a bit over 5' 7". I have tried to tell them that many American women are taller than me but I could tell they didn't believe me. So, I have accepted the title as the tallest woman in the western hemisphere. Seems almost all communication is challenged here. It is truly amazing. You can ask a translator to ask one simple question, or even convey one simple statement like "this is a photograph of the house Tim and I are building". What is so complicated about that, right? The person translating can easily take up to 2 minutes of nonstop chatter to convey this. Not only that, but then a conversation begins between the translator and the translatee, if there is such a person, and that can go on, my guess is, for an infinite amount of time. I have started stepping into the conversations midstream and asking what they are talking about. Often the topic has changed completely but they are happy to fill me in on the conversation. I have come to the conclusion that any meeting of two or more Chinese people is a chance for a party, or at least a good long chat. On the other hand, communication on the level of friendliness is effortless. A smile given is rewarded with some of the most beautiful poster-like smiles I have ever seen.

Finally they found the biggest bike in the shop - it was bright yellow and black. It was by far the most unattractive bike I had ever seen. Some Iowa Hawkeye fan might have been in total ecstasy, but not I. I kept looking around. But after a few more minutes Tim gave me this look, which I have come to realize means "Give it up Deb, it ain't gonna happen on this continent". After a few moments of inner struggle, I settled. I have done a lot of aesthetic 'settling' since I have been here. Whether I have gained greater flexibility or tolerance or just learned how to repress in this area I'm not sure. It is probably a good exercise whatever is going on, so I try not to analyze it too much.

As I resigned myself to being the owner of the bright yellow bike, I commented to Lucy how the bike looked like a big bumblebee. She asked me to repeat myself. I am used to this request, and depending on the degree of confusion I see in the person's eyes, I simplify my message accordingly. I saw zero comprehension in Lucy's sweet face so I said in a slow clear voice how the bike looked like a big bee because it was bright yellow and black. I left out the 'bumble' part thinking that was probably confusing her. She lit up and I thought I had hit a home run until she stepped over to the bike and pointed out with a big smile how I had a 'bee' on my new bike. She thought I meant 'bell'. The smart thing to do at this time would have been to smile, nod and let it go. But, I didn't. I knew I could communicate this idea if I had just one more go at it. So I explained how there is an insect that is colored like my bike and it flies from flower to flower and then it makes a sweet liquid that people like to eat. I had seen honey in all the stores so I knew she would understand. She paused, and I knew I had gone too far. Her circuits were overloaded. She paused and then asked if I would like her to ask the bike store owners if they had some of this sweet liquid. It was at that point that I finally decided to let it go - for Lucy and myself. I said no and thanked her for helping me find a bike that had a bell and we exchanged big smiles. Big smiles of relief. And the level of relief we both felt I am certain transcended all boundaries of language.